"It's not good, but it is amazing!"

Welcome to The Sleepless Movie Review, where I endeavor to bring you reviews of some of the most obscure or oft-neglected titles. Maybe it's to expand your filmic horizons. Or maybe it's to permanently damn some rightfully overlooked piece of tepid celluloid crap.

Dissatisfied with the traditional generic four star system, I've developed a new, more exciting, more colorful rating system that should rate films appropriately so that prime entertainment like Mortal Kombat isn't occupying the same territory as Citizen Kane.

Red stars are for films that are pure entertainment and shouldn't be judged for their social significance, like Mortal Kombat or Friday the 13th.

Yellow stars are for films that are the total package: thought-provoking and entertaining. Popular yellow star films would be The Matrix or Dark City.

Blue stars are for films that are largely meant to make the viewer think, sometimes at the expense of pure entertainment, like Requiem for a Dream or Stalker.

The star system is pretty flexible, particularly in the case of yellow stars. A film may get a low yellow star score if it's trying to be the total package and fails miserably; likewise, it may move into yellow star territory if it's an excellent exercise in genre-crafting. Action or horror films at the top of their game may get shifted into yellow from red.

Latest News and Reviews

August 25, 2010 - "Twilight" Review
Porno for tweens.

August 20, 2010 - "Piranha 3D" Review
Nope, Aja's still a shitty director and probably just a terrible human being.

July 20, 2010 - "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" Review
A good movie that threatens to be something far better.

June 12, 2010 - "Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy" Review
So, so close.

June 4, 2010 - "A Dog's Breakfast" Review
When a little goes a long way.

May 18, 2010 - "Halloween II" Review
Man, I need to get on these more. This movie's awesome, though.

March 13, 2010 - "Californication" Season One Review
So, so close.

February 14, 2010 - "Universal Soldier: Regeneration" Review
Jean-Claude Van Damme. Dolph Lundgren. The best action movie of their careers.

January 2, 2010 - "Young Hollywood" Review
The more things change, the more they stay the same. In porn.

December 18, 2009 - "Afro Samurai" Review
An abnormally complex piece of animation.

December 11, 2009 - "The Grudge 3" Review
It's official, I'm actually sick of this franchise.

December 1, 2009 - "Deadgirl" Review
A random late-night visit to Netflix brings one of the best films about male adolescence in a long time.

November 24, 2009 - "The Ring" Review
The needlessly delayed final chapter of the series of reviews.

October 29, 2009 - "Ring" Review
The middle chapter of my series of reviews tackles the best of the bunch.

October 17, 2009 - "The Ring Virus" Review
After a hiatus with a nasty cold, I return with a review of one of the worst entries in the Ring franchise.

September 30, 2009 - "Dexter" Season One Review
There, I finally watched it.

September 27, 2009 - "Abomination: The Evilmaker II" Review
Just when you thought there was no shame in going direct-to-video.

September 16, 2009 - "Vital" Review
Shinya Tsukamoto delivers a haunting but hopeful meditation on love, life, and death.

September 7, 2009 - "Exte: Hair Extensions" Review
Sion Sono successfully manages to confuse by not confusing, but consistently entertains.

August 31, 2009 - "Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li" Review Up
Can you believe they screwed up another video game movie?

August 27, 2009 - "2001: A Space Odyssey" Review Up
In the interest of contributing to the already overwrought and overlong conversation about this film, I present my review.

August 17, 2009 - "Delgo" Review Up and New Writer
New review up of stunning cinematic failure Delgo, penned by new writer Brandon Witte! Also, more exclamation points in updates!

August 4, 2009 - "Mass Effect" Review Up
The first review written since the site has gone up, and about a video game! On a movie review site! Zounds! Unpredictability!

August 2, 2009 - Site Launch
The site has officially launched with over twenty reviews in its stable, so check them out! These reviews were accumulated during my time at UC San Diego, but brand new material will be added weekly, so stay tuned!